Blog
Getting through Grief with Humor, Honesty and Time
I’m taking an online blogging class. My assignment: a post on why I blog. This is who I am. I just updated it because in the three and a half years since George died, I’m not nearly as lost, although I’m
Surviving the Loss of a Loved One in Elephant Journal
Dear Blog Friends, I’m thrilled to be in Elephant Journal with my article “Surviving the Holidays After the Death of a Loved One.” Here’s the start: “Since my husband George died in 2013, I get really depressed over the holidays.
Coping with Widowhood over the Holidays
Dear Friends, It is again the holiday season. And it is so fucked. End of post. I jest. I think the holidays look terrible to us sometimes because they don’t look how they’re supposed to look. But we’re the ones
Returning from Sorrento: 6 Things I Learned
I went to the Amalfi Coast in Italy with a UC Berkeley Alumni tour group. I met them at the airport in Naples. It’s the most alone I’ve ever traveled. I saw the archeological museum and Pompei
Is Adult Dating Just an Exercise in Dumpster Diving?
This quote really resonated with the women, especially the single ones, at a recent women’s only yoga retreat. Dating as dumpster diving. Do men feel the same way about dating as adults? Which might be the point. Do
The G-Word: Attempting Gratitude
I’ve been thinking about gratitude lately. Almost involuntarily. I’ve been wondering, is gratitude a prerequisite to living well? I just came back from a short vacation to Lake Tahoe. And as I got closer to home, that sinking feeling seeped
From Married to Mutant
I finally realized we don’t recover from loss, we mutate. We can’t go forward but stay the same person, returning to a happy version of who we were. So we change, a change borne of necessity, not desire, but a way
Becoming Pudding: Abandoning the Outside World
I think I’m devolving into a blancmange. (I loved the whole Devo, de-evolution thing). About a year after George died, I realized that life on Planet Widow also meant that I was single. That was weird. I was never really
Relationship Blues
I don’t know what an adult relationship is supposed to look like. I married my high school prom date. Maybe we never changed, or if we did, we changed in ways that worked together, as I moved through college,
Dating in a Time Warp with Erma Bombeck
OMG what am I doing posting twice in two days! Well, I wanted to share that my new piece “Dating in a time Warp” is up today on the Erma Bombeck Humor Writers’ site. It starts like this:
Shame by Skinny Jeans
My skinny widow pants no longer fit. My stomach muffins over the top. These are the pants I bought after George died. I was down about 15 pounds, I was going to start venturing out again and my old clothes
Let’s Rant (Socializing as a Widow)
Dear Blog, This is again one of those times when you and I are not hitting it off. I don’t seem to have that much to say if I’m not getting published somewhere else. So, let’s rant: Stuff I Hate
Anxiety and Widowhood
Since George died, I’m much more anxious than I used to be. I’ve probably always had an anxiety disorder which, in the past, I’ve called “being anal retentive.” When I was married, George took care of everything. And I
Kissed in the Louvre (flash non-fiction)
I was getting lost in the Louvre when I found a different sort of artwork. Gorgeous, French, leather jacket, sideburns, a Jean Paul Belmondo type or “type,” as they say there. He put my hand on his white t-shirt.
I’m Clingy in Woman’s Day
I’m in Woman’s Day talking about being needy in my relationship. My article is written from the perspective of a widow, but I think these feelings arise when we’re adrift in a new romantic situation, be it from death
George in Woman’s Day and The Male Breast Cancer Coalition
While I was out: I just got back from France and wanted to share two new article-things. Apologies if this is redundant of my Facebook Pages. I’m in Woman’s Day again with “How I Dealt with the Dark Aftermath of
How I Embarrassed Myself (Oh no!) on Woman’s Day: It’s About S-E-X
First, I do not pick the writing prompts for the magazine group I submit to. This one was “My sexuality as a widow.” And I thought, what the fuck, I’ll try it. I’m probably the only person who did. So
I’m in Elephant Journal! Three Years After George Died…
April 10, 2016 will be the three year anniversary of my husband George’s death. I’d hoped to feel healed by now—to have emerged from grieving stronger and complete—but most of the time I don’t feel that way. It’s like there’s
Superb Tips from an Online Dater on Huffington Post
Hello! It’s me again. I’ve distilled all my online dating tips into one article. And it’s on the Huffington Post right here: Superb Tips from a Former Online Dating Addict. The editors changed the title to “Superb.” I just called it
The Hungover Widow Contemplates Employment
It is now time to contemplate getting a grown up job. (Ok, a part-time sort of grown up job). Now, I suck at being a grown up. I wrote about it. My Teenager article in Good Housekeeping It was not
I Get Sexy in Elle Decor
Last October, there was a hot, nearly naked, 30-year-old app developer in my bathroom, but I really wanted him to leave. I’d met him online on OK Cupid, and he’d suggested a rendezvous. After a preliminary meet up, I picked
My David Bowie Tribute on The Huffington Post
I have a new piece up on The Huffington Post discussing my love for David Bowie’s music. I started in 1981 in college and…Read the rest here: From Rebel, Rebel to Space Oddity If you know any Bowie fans or
Question 7: My New Partner Feels Threatened by my Late Husband
Our latest question comes from Jaqui, who writes: I am a widow and I think I am worth dating! I had 34 years of loving (and often working) with my husband. The pure joys of our early relationship and our
New Year on the Huffington Post
Dear Blog Friends, I have a new Huffington Post article. I’m not on my main computer, it took me this long to try posting from my IPad. So, here’s my article. New Year’s Eve Without my Husband Once again, I
Question Six: Are Widows Less Emotionally Damaged than Divorcees?
An Anonymous Questioner asks: I divorced about 4 years ago, and have been through two relationships (one about 2 years, the other about 8 months) with women who were divorced. Lots of passion, but emotionally frustrating. Both of
At 50, I Became a Widow and a Teenager (in Good Housekeeping)
Hello Lovelies, I’m in Good Housekeeping Again. And I am so grateful. Here’s the start: ****** I was 50 going on 15, trying to figure out how to live without him. When my husband George died, I was plunged into
Question Five: Should He Date When It Feels Like Cheating on His Former Girlfriend
A new friend lost his girlfriend in a car accident five years ago. He writes,”Sometimes I think I should go for dating again, but then I think it would be cheating on her. She passed away five years back.
