Blog
Our Inner Critics in the Time of Quarantine
In this time of quarantine when we can’t escape ourselves, let’s stop bumming ourselves out with thoughts of self-doubt.
Sheltering with Anxiety Demons
These are strange and worrisome times. And for those of us who already live with anxiety demons, there is even more to worry about. Maybe we can even feel a strange camaraderie with other people because they too are now
Recovering from Extreme Loneliness or Don’t Trust a Guy with 19 Guitars who Wants to Move in with You
Last year, a boyfriend (now ex) left me stranded on a stranger’s floor in Germany. A woman friend ( now ex) falsely accused me of deliberately dating her quasi-boyfriend. So I quit writing. Frankly, I just felt too damn stupid.
My Essay Writing Class
I am again teaching my five week essay writing class in San Francisco on Saturday mornings starting June 15th. Here’s the link. If you’re interested or know someone who might be, please sign up. I’ve taught it three times and
I’m Teaching Again/ Making our Losses Part of Our Lives
Dear Friends, I loved teaching the five-week essay writing class through Writing Pad. I’m doing it again in San Francisco starting in late January. Here’s the information. If you or someone you know might be interested, please let me know. You
I’m Teaching a Class!
Dear Friends, I’m teaching a five-week class called “Personal Essay 1: You in 1200 words” that runs on Saturdays, 11:00am to 2:00pm, from September 29 to October 27. Here’s the link. Contrary to what it says, there are plenty of spaces
My New York Times’ Modern Love Essay
One of my dreams has been to be in the New York Times’ Modern Love column. Let’s go read the rest of it here. It’s online today and in print on Sunday. Saturday would have been my anniversary with George. Coincidence?
Using a Beginner’s Mind to Cope with the Loneliness of Widowhood
We are lonely. My post that’s gotten by far the biggest response is fighting the loneliness that comes with the second year of widowhood. The hard part is that we have to fix that loneliness for ourselves. Our former friends
Dating After Widowhood: You Can Withdraw Your Consent at Any Time
Many of us are diving back into the dating pool after a long absence. It’s been many years since we’ve been romantic with someone other than our spouses. We might not know what feels okay until we’re actually on
Widowhood: Fighting the Stigma of Loneliness
Loneliness equals shame. The hardest thing I went through after George died was being lonely. With few friends, no kids, and a family consisting of my elderly dad and step-mom, I’d sit at home at night and think, “Who’d notice
A Widow Finds Love through Perseverance
I recently got an email from a widow of fourteen months who asked if it’s okay to fall in love again? Hell yes! We deserve love and we deserve to be in love. I wrote about that here. I just
Recognizing When You are Being Emotionally Abused (in Ravishly)
It’s what I do. Get into embarrassing, sad situations and write about them publicly. Sigh. I never realized the depths to which loneliness could drag me. Thanks to the awesome editor at ”Ravishly,” here’s my story, polished and story-ish: “Are
Tripping on the Path of Widowhood: Living with Emotional Abuse
On July 29th, my boyfriend had a public meltdown and yelled at me. For the very first time I realized: He’s emotionally abusive. So, I ended it. It took the ghost of my late husband George to save me. July
In Ravishly: Patton Oswalt’s Engagement: What Should Grief Look Like? (And Who are We to Decide?)
For my non-Facebook subscribers: Online magazine “Ravishly” asked me to write an article on the media reaction to Patton Oswalt’s engagement. It’s the first time that anyone’s asked me to write an article that I didn’t pitch to them first.
What I Want You to Know about Widowhood on Ravishly
I am so grateful to have my first article in “Ravishly,” a cool online women’s magazine, on the topic closest to heart: loneliness and widowhood. The people who reached out to me when I was newly widowed saved me. Oh,
My Father’s Day Article on Purple Clover
Happy Father’s Day! 💕 For my friends who aren’t on Facebook, I have my first piece on “Purple Clover” about growing up with my dad, a nuclear physicist, after my my mom died when I was ten. It starts: “Your mommy’s
My Father’s Day Tribute in Modern Loss
For my blog friends who aren’t on Facebook, I am so grateful to be in the wonderful online publication “Modern Loss” with a Father’s Day tribute to my dad who raised me after my mom died when I
Dating for Widows and Widowers: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself if You’re Ready to Date
I rushed into dating far too quickly after George died. I tried dating a couple of guys only a few months after his death. I waited 14 months before joining an online dating site, but it was still too soon, at
It’s about Me
I am so grateful to be interviewed by the fantastic writer and blogger Melissa Blake on her blog “So About What I Said” as part of her series on women writers. Her post is entitled “On Life and Love
You are Grieving Perfectly: You are Choosing to Live
You are grieving perfectly, just as you are. Even if you’re sobbing and sloppy and inconsolable. You are choosing to live with your loss. You are surviving. And that can be very hard at times. I wish someone had told
Welcoming Sadness: Sitting with the Pain of Loss
Sometimes, we just need to sit with our pain. Maybe we breathe through it, or make it the focus of our meditation, or we just wail into the void, but we stay with it, for an hour or an evening
A Widow’s Galentine in Modern Loss
I am thrilled and grateful to have my Valentine’s Day post in Modern Loss, an online journal I’ve always wanted to be in. It’s called “A Widow’s Galentine to her Girlfriends.” It’s about how I found my tribe doing flow
The Women’s March and 6 Tips when You come Home to an Empty House
It’s my first protest! My writer’s group and I marched in Walnut Creek, CA, a conservative suburb in the San Francisco Bay Area. Over 10,000 people filled the streets in “a suburb known more for shopping and restaurants than for
5 Reasons Why Older Single Women Give Up On Men
The last time I hung out with my single girlfriends, the talk turned to why we have a better time hanging out with each other than with the guys we’re dating. Several of the girls had recently broken up with
Eight Red Flags to Spot When You’re Dating
I’m an ex-online dating addict. For a while, I was terribly social until I discovered binge-watching. Here are seven red flags that cropped up when I was dating. Sometimes, it took me weeks to figure out what the problem
My New Year’s Post: 8 Things I Learned While Widowing
I learned a lot this year. It just doesn’t feel like it because translating “what I’ve learned” into “things I’ve accomplished” feels really disconnected. But for the fist year since George died, I have had glimpses of happiness and
6 Ways to Swim in the Adult Dating Cesspool (and One Work Around)
My last dating post was about how many people think of adult dating as dumpster diving. Sadly enough, most women agreed with me. But some men didn’t! A few evolved male souls talked about how they’d worked on themselves
