Podcasts & Articles
Confessing to Loneliness at the End of the World
Can we finally just say we feel lonely and isolated? These times feel like first being widowed, and yet, there is solace in small things.
Sharing Our Stories: My Class for Senior Citizens
I’m teaching a writing class on zoom for senior citizens starting May 28th.
If Your Date is Trying to Change You, They aren’t the One
I was shocked at all the criticisms I received from men when I started dating in middle age. Instead of taking them to heart, I should have just walked away.
The Biggest Problem with Middle-Aged Dating: Living in the Past
I finally realized that many middle aged daters were living in the past. Dating was an exercise in revenge against the people who’d failed them.
Reconciling with Gratitude: The Pandemic Edition
My quarantine resolution: to reconcile with gratitude. Otherwise, it’s too hard to live with someone this bitter.
On Wanting Someone Invested or I Fell in Love Over an Air Conditioner
I wanted someone who was invested, and that meant caring about what I cared. A dead air conditioner showed me I’d found the right person.
On Not Giving Up on Love
I found love and learned not settle when I was 55 at one of the saddest points since my husband died. Don’t give up hope.
Our Inner Critics in the Time of Quarantine
In this time of quarantine when we can’t escape ourselves, let’s stop bumming ourselves out with thoughts of self-doubt.
Sheltering with Anxiety Demons
These are strange and worrisome times. And for those of us who already live with anxiety demons, there is even more to worry about. Maybe we can even feel a strange camaraderie with other people because they too are now totally worried, albeit about something that merits being concerned about
Recovering from Extreme Loneliness or Don’t Trust a Guy with 19 Guitars who Wants to Move in with You
Last year, a boyfriend (now ex) left me stranded on a stranger’s floor in Germany. A woman friend ( now ex) falsely accused me of deliberately dating her quasi-boyfriend. So I quit writing. Frankly, I just felt too damn stupid. So I sank into loneliness for awhile. When writing an
My Essay Writing Class
I am again teaching my five week essay writing class in San Francisco on Saturday mornings starting June 15th. Here’s the link. If you’re interested or know someone who might be, please sign up. I’ve taught it three times and each time has been fascinating as people create and refine
I’m Teaching Again/ Making our Losses Part of Our Lives
Dear Friends, I loved teaching the five-week essay writing class through Writing Pad. I’m doing it again in San Francisco starting in late January. Here’s the information. If you or someone you know might be interested, please let me know. You can also attend remotely. There are discounts available so please
I’m Teaching a Class!
Dear Friends, I’m teaching a five-week class called “Personal Essay 1: You in 1200 words” that runs on Saturdays, 11:00am to 2:00pm, from September 29 to October 27. Here’s the link. Contrary to what it says, there are plenty of spaces left. The code “teacherspet” provides $50 off and “teasherspet5wkplan” will
My New York Times’ Modern Love Essay
One of my dreams has been to be in the New York Times’ Modern Love column. Let’s go read the rest of it here. It’s online today and in print on Sunday. Saturday would have been my anniversary with George. Coincidence?
Using a Beginner’s Mind to Cope with the Loneliness of Widowhood
We are lonely. My post that’s gotten by far the biggest response is fighting the loneliness that comes with the second year of widowhood. The hard part is that we have to fix that loneliness for ourselves. Our former friends and the couples who no longer include us aren’t going
Dating After Widowhood: You Can Withdraw Your Consent at Any Time
Many of us are diving back into the dating pool after a long absence. It’s been many years since we’ve been romantic with someone other than our spouses. We might not know what feels okay until we’re actually on a date and things are becoming steamy. The most important
Widowhood: Fighting the Stigma of Loneliness
Loneliness equals shame. The hardest thing I went through after George died was being lonely. With few friends, no kids, and a family consisting of my elderly dad and step-mom, I’d sit at home at night and think, “Who’d notice if I vanished?’ “I’m alone because my husband died,” became,
A Widow Finds Love through Perseverance
I recently got an email from a widow of fourteen months who asked if it’s okay to fall in love again? Hell yes! We deserve love and we deserve to be in love. I wrote about that here. I just didn’t think it was possible for single people over forty.
Recognizing When You are Being Emotionally Abused (in Ravishly)
It’s what I do. Get into embarrassing, sad situations and write about them publicly. Sigh. I never realized the depths to which loneliness could drag me. Thanks to the awesome editor at ”Ravishly,” here’s my story, polished and story-ish: “Are you okay?” the man in the parking lot asked me.
Tripping on the Path of Widowhood: Living with Emotional Abuse
On July 29th, my boyfriend had a public meltdown and yelled at me. For the very first time I realized: He’s emotionally abusive. So, I ended it. It took the ghost of my late husband George to save me. July 29th was George’s birthday. It was my wake up call,
In Ravishly: Patton Oswalt’s Engagement: What Should Grief Look Like? (And Who are We to Decide?)
For my non-Facebook subscribers: Online magazine “Ravishly” asked me to write an article on the media reaction to Patton Oswalt’s engagement. It’s the first time that anyone’s asked me to write an article that I didn’t pitch to them first. I had a same day deadline. Whew! So, it starts,
What I Want You to Know about Widowhood on Ravishly
I am so grateful to have my first article in “Ravishly,” a cool online women’s magazine, on the topic closest to heart: loneliness and widowhood. The people who reached out to me when I was newly widowed saved me. Oh, it’s funny too, I go through what not to say
My Father’s Day Article on Purple Clover
Happy Father’s Day! 💕 For my friends who aren’t on Facebook, I have my first piece on “Purple Clover” about growing up with my dad, a nuclear physicist, after my my mom died when I was ten. It starts: “Your mommy’s probably going to die,” my dad told me, his voice
My Father’s Day Tribute in Modern Loss
For my blog friends who aren’t on Facebook, I am so grateful to be in the wonderful online publication “Modern Loss” with a Father’s Day tribute to my dad who raised me after my mom died when I was ten. We drew closer when he helped me to
Dating for Widows and Widowers: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself if You’re Ready to Date
I rushed into dating far too quickly after George died. I tried dating a couple of guys only a few months after his death. I waited 14 months before joining an online dating site, but it was still too soon, at least for me. I could have saved myself a lot
It’s about Me
I am so grateful to be interviewed by the fantastic writer and blogger Melissa Blake on her blog “So About What I Said” as part of her series on women writers. Her post is entitled “On Life and Love after Loss.” I go through what led me to start
You are Grieving Perfectly: You are Choosing to Live
You are grieving perfectly, just as you are. Even if you’re sobbing and sloppy and inconsolable. You are choosing to live with your loss. You are surviving. And that can be very hard at times. I wish someone had told me this when I was ten and my mom died.