Podcasts & Articles
Why is Dating in Middle Age so Hostile? It All Started on the Playground
To me, so much of the dysfunction surrounding dating in middle age boils down to the way men and women of my generation were taught to behave. Specifically, little boys were brought up to conquer while girls were brought up to be docile.
On Dating at Middle Age: Where Are All the GrownUp Men?
When I started dating again after being widowed at fifty, I wondered, where are the men who act like grown ups? The ones who get their gutters cleaned, keep their homes reasonably tidy, have edible food in their refrigerators, and want a life partner instead of easy sex.
Ending The One Upmanship Of Middle-Aged Dating
My best advice: To find love, develop your empathy muscle. In my experience, many middle-aged men have let it atrophy. Dating at fifty was like being in a wolf pack, or worse, a law firm.
What if Valentine’s Day Became “Loneliness Awareness Day”
I’m not Blaming Valentine’s Day for All my Neuroses, BUT… For me, Valentine’s Day has always seemed a little bit mean. Dare I say exclusionary? It’s the high school cheerleader of holidays, the one that makes you feel like you didn’t get asked to the prom. When I was in
Disillusionment: It’s What’s Killing Middle-Aged Dating
Let’s start a movement called the unfun daters where we treat our dates like potential life partners instead of bottom feeders.
Accepting Change: This is the Second Adolescence That Is Widowhood
To be widow is to be a shape shifter. We move through different phases redefining ourselves after our loss.
The Biggest Problem with Middle-Aged Dating: Living in the Past
I finally realized that many middle aged daters were living in the past. Dating was an exercise in revenge against the people who’d failed them.
On Not Giving Up on Love
I found love and learned not settle when I was 55 at one of the saddest points since my husband died. Don’t give up hope.
My New York Times’ Modern Love Essay
One of my dreams has been to be in the New York Times’ Modern Love column. Let’s go read the rest of it here. It’s online today and in print on Sunday. Saturday would have been my anniversary with George. Coincidence?
Widowhood: Fighting the Stigma of Loneliness
Loneliness equals shame. The hardest thing I went through after George died was being lonely. With few friends, no kids, and a family consisting of my elderly dad and step-mom, I’d sit at home at night and think, “Who’d notice if I vanished?’ “I’m alone because my husband died,” became,
My Father’s Day Tribute in Modern Loss
For my blog friends who aren’t on Facebook, I am so grateful to be in the wonderful online publication “Modern Loss” with a Father’s Day tribute to my dad who raised me after my mom died when I was ten. We drew closer when he helped me to
Welcoming Sadness: Sitting with the Pain of Loss
Sometimes, we just need to sit with our pain. Maybe we breathe through it, or make it the focus of our meditation, or we just wail into the void, but we stay with it, for an hour or an evening or a good cry. My yoga teacher friend would call
A Widow’s Galentine in Modern Loss
I am thrilled and grateful to have my Valentine’s Day post in Modern Loss, an online journal I’ve always wanted to be in. It’s called “A Widow’s Galentine to her Girlfriends.” It’s about how I found my tribe doing flow yoga: “At over 50, I have my first tribe, and that
Coping with Widowhood over the Holidays
Dear Friends, It is again the holiday season. And it is so fucked. End of post. I jest. I think the holidays look terrible to us sometimes because they don’t look how they’re supposed to look. But we’re the ones who decide what things are supposed to look like. Not
I’m Clingy in Woman’s Day
I’m in Woman’s Day talking about being needy in my relationship. My article is written from the perspective of a widow, but I think these feelings arise when we’re adrift in a new romantic situation, be it from death or divorce or a break up. And much of my
How I Embarrassed Myself (Oh no!) on Woman’s Day: It’s About S-E-X
First, I do not pick the writing prompts for the magazine group I submit to. This one was “My sexuality as a widow.” And I thought, what the fuck, I’ll try it. I’m probably the only person who did. So it’s published on Woman’s Day and starts : “My current
I Get Sexy in Elle Decor
Last October, there was a hot, nearly naked, 30-year-old app developer in my bathroom, but I really wanted him to leave. I’d met him online on OK Cupid, and he’d suggested a rendezvous. After a preliminary meet up, I picked him up a few days later at the nearest BART
New Year on the Huffington Post
Dear Blog Friends, I have a new Huffington Post article. I’m not on my main computer, it took me this long to try posting from my IPad. So, here’s my article. New Year’s Eve Without my Husband Once again, I am so grateful for the comments and messages I’ve received.
At 50, I Became a Widow and a Teenager (in Good Housekeeping)
Hello Lovelies, I’m in Good Housekeeping Again. And I am so grateful. Here’s the start: ****** I was 50 going on 15, trying to figure out how to live without him. When my husband George died, I was plunged into a second adolescence. Whether I wanted to or not. George
The Holidays in Widowland: on the Huffington Post
In the two and a half years since my husband died, I thought I’d feel better about my life without him. But I don’t. Especially during the holiday season when I feel my loss even more piercingly than usual. And having to say that everything’s going great just makes it
I’m a BITCH on Good Housekeeping!
Dear friends, Despite the bad timing, my biggest publication has come out today in “Good Housekeeping” magazine. If you like it, please share. The title is “I had to Channel My Inner Bitch to Live My Best Life After My Husband’s Death.” And it’s about standing up for myself
Medicinal Marijuana and Warm Silk: My First Published Creative Nonfiction
Hello Dear Blog Friends: My first piece of creative nonfiction has been published on the site Full Grown People. Here’s the link: Medicinal Marijuana and Warm Silk. I’m thrilled, but would be even more so if people read it, and if they like it, please share or tweet
My First Blog Post on the Huffington Post
Ok, the blog page is purple. But I am on it…in the Post 50 section. I’m not featured (yet). So, it’s a little hard to find. Here’s the link. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/debbie-weiss/tripping-over-our-own-baggage_b_8179622.html Please check it out! I like it and I’m my own worst critic! Oh yeah, tell your friends (insert self-promotion plug